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Accept​/​Except Yourself

by WATERMEDOWN

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1.
I have been here for a year, and I have yet to befriend anyone new. I swear that's true. Awake, but dead I seem to be as I progress through everything I do. I swear that's true. The aftermath proves failure, for I've lost all touch with everything I knew. I swear that's true. I've been here for a year, but I have yet to get my mind off of you. I have yet to get my mind off of you.
2.
I've planted a seed in the ground beneath my feet with the hopes that it would grow to be tall enough to block the sun, and provide shade for everyone in this dreadful summer heat. I lost all I had, but it doesn't feel so bad. I'll learn from all of my mistakes and use them to recreate myself into the man I want to be, not just some boy lost in everything. I refuse to be evergreen. I will rebuild with what's left of me. I constantly dwell on the past, and I hate myself for that, but it's not too late to remake myself.
3.
Have you ever felt the presence of ghosts in your bedroom? Have you ever felt the absence of pain in a flesh wound? Do you ever find yourself in a bathroom stall regretting everything you've put yourself through? Because I do. Have you ever woken up to a monster in your bed? Have you ever woken up under covers covered in sweat? Do you ever find yourself finding convenient exits from every commitment because you're scared? Yeah, you're scared of leaving home. It's okay because I'm equally afraid. I know certainly certainty's got the best of me, but I would much appreciate you sparing your company, for I have loved many, but I've left plenty more behind. I swear I'm getting there. It just takes time. I swear I'm getting there, but I can't accept myself for who I've become, so I except myself from reaching out to anyone. I know we've lived, we've learned, we've grown, but the inputs of others still rise over my own.
4.
Nothing Left 05:00
I have nothing left to share. The scars beneath my hair are bound to show themselves one day when my knees grow weak and my memories fade away, so when there's no one else's soul to take but mine, I'll be just fine. Yeah, I will be just fine. Could you see yourself with me? I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish that we could be friends again or anything at all, so when there's no one else's call to take but mine, I'll still be on the other line. I have nothing left to share. I've given you my best I swear.

credits

released June 17, 2013

all things written and recorded by me (sky) in my parents' basement

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WATERMEDOWN Charlotte Hall, Maryland

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